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DARK CHOCOLATE
And be sure of this: I am with you always,
even to the end of the age (Malt 28:20 NLT)
Dark chocolate, I
love dark chocolate, specifically Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate. It is
potent, luxurious, velvety smooth and rich. It melts in my mouth with the sweet
essence of royalty. I savor all its beguiling flavor today just the same way I
savored it when I was five years old. It is one of the things that links my past
with my present and will be there in my future. It is a constant in my life that
brings a taste of security in the midst of unsavory circumstances.
My father never
had a desk, our kitchen table served as his desk. Most days I could find him
there working on one thing or another, sometimes a tax return for a client and
sometimes the crossword puzzle. I would pull a chair up next to his and watch
him. He would trace the crossword puzzle from the newspaper onto a blank sheet
of paper. Then he would hand me the puzzle in the paper
—
I was nine (9), he was forty-eight (48).
We would do the puzzle together.
Daddy always had
a one (1) pound bar of Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate on his kitchen table
“desk”. It was divided into thirty-two (32) little squares. After we finished
the puzzle, Daddy would break out the chocolate. He always did it the same way
—
four little squares, two for him and two
for me, He’d hand me my chocolate and we would sit in silence savoring the taste
and texture of this special treat. In these moments I felt as if I was the only
person in the whole world that mattered. I felt safe, secure, loved, special,
treasured, valued, and important. I was the “the apple of my daddy’s eye”.
Eventually, I
became the “apple of someone else’s eye”
—
my husband’s special someone. With him, I felt
the same way I had felt sitting next to my daddy
—
special, loved, treasured, valued, and
important. I was safe and secure. He was my shield and my protector, my best
friend and my nemesis. And we share Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate. Every
night before bedtime, during our quiet, just the two of us time, I break out the
chocolate. I break off four pieces, two for him and two for me and we sit in
silence savoring both the chocolate and the moment. I know I am loved.
In a desert land he found him, in a barren
and howling waste. he shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the
apple of his eye (Duet 32:10 NIV).
Death often feels
like a desert land, a barren and howling waste, a joyless expanse of
nothingness. I often feel insecure, and when I am really honest with myselç a
little afraid of being alone. Daddy died in 1982 after battling Chronic
Obstructive Pulmonary Disease for several years.
Although I still miss him, I have now internalized my father. I hear many of the
words he spoke to me coming out of my mouth. In a sense he still lives in me.
The hole his move to heaven left in my life has healed, soothed by the salve of
Christ’s love. And I know the words of my heavenly Father are true:
The Lord himself goes before you and will
be with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not
be discouraged (Duet 31:8 NIV).
Now my beloved
husband is battling Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS)
—
Lou Gehrig’s disease. Neither of us knows
how much time we have left: a week, a month, six months? The disease will run
its course and unless God miraculously heals his physical body, he will move to
heaven. I pray, I cry, I grieve and we share a moment of love and security with
Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate. And I remember the Lord will be with me just
as he was when daddy died.
I cherished the
moments I spent as “Daddy’s little girl”; I was “the apple of his eye”. I
cherish each and every moment I spend as my beloved’s wife for I know that I am
“the apple of his eye”. And yet in a very real sense, I know that my true father
and husband is the Lord God Almighty and that I am the apple of his eye. I know
God will never leave me nor forsake me. I know He will be with me in the days
and months ahead, applying the salve of Christ’s love to my wounds. And I know
beyond the shadow of a doubt that God loves Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate as
much as I do. In the days to come I will enjoy savoring dark chocolate with my
Lord as I learn to live again.
For your encouragement,
Ann E. Van Dyke
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Ann E. Van Dyke
http://www.amourningdevotional.com
Mourning Glory – A Devotional for
Grieving is a book for
helping those struggling through a loss and looking for support and
comfort.
Ann holds a Masters degree in psychology
and is a licensed addictions counselor. |
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