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Trust and Obey
“Don’t let your hearts be
troubled
Trust in God, and trust also in me (John 14: 1 NLT).
“If they listen and obey God;
they will be blessed with prosperity throughout their lives.
All their years will be pleasant (Job 36:11 NLT)
Thoughts race
across the frontier of my mind like wild horses, running ahead of a prairie
fire, I feel fear and doubts rising within me like black specters from some
deep, dark abyss. My soul mate, my husband is dying. I am facing an uncertain
fixture; I am too young to collect social security and I know deep within me
that I cannot return to my former profession
—
counseling. I haven’t enough emotional energy to cope with my own grief
and loss and to simultaneously hold someone else’s emotions. Maybe sometime in
the future when I have navigated the slippery slopes of widowhood, but not in
the perceivable future. Yet I will need a source of income, as I am wrestling
within myself about an uncertain future, the bills are piling up and I haven’t
paid our tithe. I pray. I hear a still quiet voice say trust and obey. “Okay,
okay, Lord. I’ll pay the tithe”. After saying this I wander into the kitchen
where my husband is reading the Bible. “Grab your Bible and turn to Malachi
3:8”. 1 did as he requested and read the passage aloud:
“Should people cheat God?
Yet you have cheated me!”
But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’
“You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me (NLT).
It was as if God
was confirming for me that I had heard him correctly. I Wrote the tithe check,
but the words trust and obey lingered in my head for several days.
At first it was
baffling, “God, I did obey. I wrote the tithe check. Why are you still saying
“Trust and obey”? As I meditated on these words, God revealed to me that He
wants more than just a monetary tithe. He wants me! He has a plan and a purpose
for my life.
“For I know the plans I
have for you, “says the Lord
“They are plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)
He wants to
“birth a new life for me”. My old life is ending, a new life must be birthed and
God is doing it even now. God is teaching me how to be a writer, an author that
writes for His Glory. He is challenging me to face the greatest fear of my life
—
the fear of success. Fear of success you
say? Don’t you mean fear of failure? No, no, a thousand times NO. I know
failure. I understand failure. God knows how many times I have failed. I may not
like failure, but I am comfortable with its boundaries. I know what to say, how
to act, and how to be a failure.
/
What I don’t know and therefore fear is success.
But God is success. He knows what to say, how to act, and how to be a success. I
can be His willing pupil or I can try to run and hide. I say try because I have
never yet been able to run and hide from the Lord.
In that moment I made a decision, a decision
that I would believe God and write for Him. It is life-changing decision.
Questions flood my mind like a huge tsunami, and are answered before I even
utter them. It is amazing how God puts the right people, in the right place, at
the right time to assist me along my journey.
God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect
He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
enabling me to stand on mountain heights (Psalms 18: 32-33 NLT)
The Greeks speak of time in two ways: chronos
and kairos. Chronos is chronological time, what my husband is experiencing as he
winds down to the final day of his earthly life. Kairos is a season of time or
the right time for something to occur. I am living in kairos, a new season of my
life. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God is leading me forward. God is
birthing a new life in me.
The Lord says, “I will
guide you along the best pathway for your
life
I will advise you and watch over you (Psalms 32:8 NLT)
For your encouragement,
Ann E. Van Dyke
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Ann E. Van Dyke
http://www.amourningdevotional.com
Mourning Glory – A Devotional for
Grieving is a book for
helping those struggling through a loss and looking for support and
comfort.
Ann holds a Masters degree in psychology
and is a licensed addictions counselor. |
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